This video provides a clear overview of eight common psychological manipulation tactics used to exert control in various relationships, from romantic to professional. The core message is that awareness is the first step to reclaiming your power. For each tactic, the video explains how it works and offers practical advice on how to respond effectively.
Gaslighting
This is a subtle tactic where someone manipulates you into questioning your own reality, memory, and feelings. They may deny events occurred or call you “too sensitive” to make you doubt yourself. To counter this, write down events as they happen, trust your feelings, and stop trying to explain yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you.
Love Bombing
This involves overwhelming you with intense affection, gifts, and attention at the beginning of a relationship. This intensity creates a powerful high, making it harder to leave when the manipulator inevitably pulls back and goes cold. The key is to slow down, ask questions, and focus on consistent patterns rather than grand promises.
Guilt Tripping
This tactic uses implied disappointment or a sense of obligation (e.g., “after all I’ve done for you”) to make you feel bad for setting boundaries or saying no. To handle this, pause and ask yourself if you’ve genuinely done something wrong or are just being made to feel that way. Differentiate between real guilt and manipulated guilt.
Triangulation
This occurs when a person involves a third party in a conflict to validate their position and make you feel outnumbered (e.g., “everyone thinks you’re overreacting”). This is a strategy to win, not resolve an issue. Counter it by insisting on direct communication: “If you have a problem with me, talk to me, not about me.”
The White Knight
This person appears as a savior, but they often subtly create or inflame a problem just so they can be the one to solve it. Their “help” is designed to keep you dependent on them. To protect yourself, notice if their support is aimed at empowering you or keeping you in a state of crisis where you need them.
The Silent Treatment
This isn’t a healthy pause for space; it’s using silence as a weapon to punish and control. It forces you to guess what you did wrong and pressures you into apologizing just to end the unbearable quiet. Address it directly by stating you’re open to talking but will not be punished with silence.
Breadcrumbing
This is the act of giving just enough attention (a random text, a social media like) to keep you interested and hopeful, but never enough to build a real, consistent connection. It keeps you in limbo. The solution is to stop chasing the trail and recognize that inconsistent attention is not enough.
The DARVO Method
DARVO stands for Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender. When you try to hold someone accountable, they first Deny the behavior, then Attack you for bringing it up, and finally Reverse the roles so they become the victim and you the offender. To counter this, do not take the bait. Stay calm, stick to the facts, and refuse to let the original issue get buried.
Mentoring question
Reflecting on these tactics, which one resonates most with your past or present experiences, and what is one small, actionable step you can take this week to reinforce a boundary related to it?
Source: https://youtube.com/watch?v=wbkvBLyIAzo&si=WcNDaLf5lqjTFYb_
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