He Taught Children Who Got into Harvard. He Reveals 4 Things Their Parents Did Differently Than Everyone Else

Educator Theo Wolf, who has mentored students admitted to prestigious universities like Harvard, Stanford, and Princeton, identifies four key parenting approaches that distinguish the parents of these high-achieving individuals. These methods focus on fostering intrinsic motivation and independence rather than relying on intensive tutoring or direct intervention.

The central theme is that successful students often have parents who knew when to step back and create an environment for independent growth, acting as mentors rather than managers.

Key Points and Arguments:

1. They Don’t Clear the Path; They Allow Children to Stumble: Unlike “snowplow parents” who remove all obstacles, these parents allow their children to experience failure and take responsibility for their decisions. This builds self-reliance, resourcefulness, and intrinsic motivation. They act as supportive mentors, not managers who do things for their children.
2. They Don’t Suppress Passions, Even “Strange” Ones: These parents support their children’s genuine interests, no matter how unconventional or seemingly impractical. They don’t pressure every interest into a career strategy but allow exploration and play. Authentic, self-driven projects impress admissions committees more than resume-padding activities.
3. They Provide Space, Including for Boredom: Contrary to filling a child’s schedule with activities, these parents understand the value of free, unstructured time. Boredom can foster self-management skills and creativity. Simple daily responsibilities and independent decision-making (like walking to school alone) build agency and responsibility.
4. They Model the Behavior They Want to See in Their Children: The most impactful approach is leading by example. If parents want their children to be active, manage time well, or limit screen time, they demonstrate these behaviors themselves. Children learn through observation, and parental authenticity builds trust and encourages the adoption of values.

Significant Conclusions/Takeaways:

The article concludes that success isn’t determined by a perfectly organized schedule or numerous extracurriculars, but by providing children with the space to be themselves, to try, fail, and make their own choices. The parents of these successful students weren’t perfect but were attentive, consistent, and present. The true strength of wise parenting lies in trusting the child, fostering their independence, and nurturing their authentic passions, rather than relying on external systems or pressures.

Source: https://zwierciadlo.pl/parenting/rodzice/550102,1,uczyl-dzieci-ktore-dostaly-sie-na-harvard-zdradza-4-rzeczy-ktore-ich-rodzice-robili-inaczej-niz-wszyscy.read