Core Message
This talk, delivered by Graham Weaver, challenges the conventional approach of simply trying to work harder or faster at the ‘game’ of life and career. Instead, he urges the audience to ask a more fundamental question: “Am I playing the right game at all?” The central theme is the concept of designing and playing a “winnable game”—a life where external success and internal fulfillment are not in conflict but are part of the same intentional pursuit.
Key Arguments & Takeaways
Weaver outlines a four-step framework for designing your own winnable game, based on his personal and professional turnaround after facing financial ruin in 2008.
1. Choose a Game That Stirs Your Blood
- Set Aspirational Goals: Weaver argues that you have a higher probability of achieving a massive, exciting goal than a moderate, “safe” one. Big goals change your identity, attract the right people, and provide the motivation to persevere through setbacks. He contrasts his firm’s initial, uninspiring mission (“generate attractive risk-adjusted returns”) with its new, audacious goal (“be the #1 performing private equity fund in the world”).
- The Power of Identity: When you set a goal that stirs your blood, you begin to assume the identity of someone capable of achieving it, which in turn influences your actions and decisions.
2. Design Your Own Game
- Question Convention: The path that is crowded and clearly marked is rarely where your unique winnable game is found. Weaver encourages questioning industry norms and realizing that most “rules” are merely conventions.
- Scale Your Bright Spots: Instead of focusing only on fixing weaknesses, find what is already working well and giving you energy—your “bright spots”—and scale them. For his firm, this meant identifying that their best deals came from installing their own people as leaders and building a unique strategy around that insight.
3. Play with People You Admire
- Your Circle Defines You: The people you surround yourself with will profoundly shape your values, your goals, and who you become. Weaver contrasts a toxic boss who penalized him for wanting to see his mother with supportive partners who encouraged him to be present for his family.
- Choose Wisely: Align yourself with people who share your values and give you energy. This is one of the most critical decisions you will make for your long-term fulfillment.
4. Play Now
- Avoid the “Not Now” Trap: The most dangerous words are “not now.” Waiting for the perfect time to start—when you get a promotion, pay off debt, or when the kids are older—is a form of fear.
- Life is Happening Now: Your life is not something that starts in the future; it is the collection of moments you are living right now. You find your passion by being passionate about the life you currently have, and you can begin designing your winnable game from wherever you are.
Mentoring Question
The speaker’s favorite question is, “What would you do if you knew you wouldn’t fail?” What does your life, career, or next major decision look like when you answer that question for yourself?
Source: https://youtube.com/watch?v=0SQor2z2QAU&si=47XIWPGcSTjPX_bA