The Seismic Shift of Fatherhood
The article presents a blunt, unvarnished look at the reality of becoming a father. The central premise is that a child completely overturns your life, destroying old routines and shifting priorities to a singular focus: the child’s survival. While it is impossible to be fully prepared for this chaos, the author argues that men possess an innate readiness that reveals itself only when tested.
Key Lessons for New Dads
- Unique Responsibility: You are the only father your child will ever have. This role makes you the most important person in their world and their primary role model for ethics, health, and life wisdom.
- Playing for High Stakes: Citing comedian Jimmy Carr, the author suggests that life before children is played for “low stakes.” Parenthood introduces true vulnerability, where the safety of another person becomes more valuable than your own life.
- The Limits of Patience: Children will test your patience beyond what you thought possible. The text warns against judging other parents (e.g., for shouting or using screens), as you will likely face similar struggles, such as the nightly battle to get a child to sleep.
- The Validity of Advice: Ignore parenting advice from people without children. Just as you wouldn’t learn to drive from a non-driver, you cannot learn to raise a child from a theorist. Values and financial literacy must be taught at home.
The Fleeting Nature of Time
The article concludes with the reflection that “the days are long, but the years are short.” It notes that 75% of the time you will spend with your children occurs before they turn 12. The author urges readers to cherish fleeting moments—like the last time a child spontaneously holds your hand—because you rarely realize a moment is the “last time” until it is already gone. Ultimately, children may not listen to you, but they will always imitate you.
Mentoring question
If you knew that a routine interaction you have with your child or loved one today was the very last time it would ever happen, how would your attitude toward that moment change?
Source: https://52notatki.substack.com/p/5-najwazniejszych-lekcji-dla-modych