This video provides practical advice for parents on how to communicate effectively with a child who has ADHD, aiming to reduce frustration and build a more cooperative family environment. The core message is that communication challenges stem from the nature of ADHD (issues with concentration, hyperfocus, emotional dysregulation), not from bad parenting or a badly behaved child. The key is to use specific, respectful techniques tailored to how an ADHD brain processes information.
Breaking Through Hyperfocus
To get your child’s attention when they are hyperfocused, you must first interrupt that state. Get in their line of sight, preferably at their eye level. Gently touch their arm or shoulder, say their name, and wait for them to make eye contact. Only after you have their full attention should you give your instruction.
Use Simple, Direct, and Positive Instructions
Commands should be short, clear, and unambiguous. Instead of a general request like “get ready,” break it down into single, concrete steps like “put on your pants.” Frame instructions positively by stating what you want the child *to do*, rather than what you want them *to stop doing*. For example, say “come to the table” instead of “stop watching TV.”
The Power of the Pause
Individuals with ADHD often need a moment longer to process verbal information. After giving a simple command, pause for a second in silence. This gives your child the necessary time to understand the request without being overwhelmed by a rapid-fire series of instructions.
Utilize Positive Reinforcement
Children with ADHD respond significantly better to positive reinforcement than to punishment. Punishment can damage self-esteem without changing behavior, whereas praise encourages repetition of the desired action. Be specific with your praise, clearly stating what they did well (e.g., “Thank you for putting your book on the shelf so quickly”). It’s also effective to praise the absence of a negative behavior, such as staying calm during a game.
Don’t Hesitate to Help
If your child struggles to initiate a task even after you’ve given a clear instruction, it’s okay to provide gentle, physical assistance to get them started. For example, if you ask them to clean up their blocks, you can pick one up yourself and say, “I’ll help you.” This models the desired behavior and shows you are a supportive partner, not just an authority figure.
Mentoring question
Which of these communication techniques could you implement this week to address a specific, recurring challenge with your child, and what do you anticipate the outcome will be?
Source: https://youtube.com/watch?v=_ck8XlsJVzA&si=PKOW8cK5utqj_YPw
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